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what's the difference between flirting and harassment?
Harassment can be flirting "gone wrong" or flirting in and un-"sensitive" manner, but then surely it can also be unintended? There is a huge grey area, between flirting and harassment, a grey area usually occupied by ugly, unfortunate or mislead me. The perpetrators of harassment simply can't see it in some cases... leading to them crossing over from flirting and into harassment territory.
Very often, some men genuinely think they read the woman intend on flirting, but find out to their disbelief that their behavior is interpreted as harassing. The job of being man is not easy in a fast-changing world, people are losing social skills, and want to get what they want, the quickest possible way.
Reading body language is notoriously tricky and women either don’t make it easy. Some women expect you to struggle to have them at last, this somehow means an open door to harassment since a man who doesn’t insist enough may not be hooked enough to deserve them. But, the main thing is that, its’ always the way the potential victim perceives the court of the other that count. Courting is an old word that has been replaced
by dating, that doesn’t happen before a certain consensual behavior of those involved. But there are still cases of harassment even during dating, since dating is just an agreement to meet, to know each other better.
By trying to court a woman, or by being simply too kind or cozy some men will fall in the Unintended harassment and the woman has a right to defend herself first by letting the Man know that she’s uncomfortable with the behavior. Here, it’s important to address clearly the issue to the man, saying nothing can be logically interpreted as a tacit agreement. A man who will continue to abound in the same behavior after being warned fall logically in the category of, malicious or aggressive harassment. Meanwhile there’s still a blurry line between the two, so both parties have a right to disagree. very few women ask openly men to have intercourses with them, it’s always to the man to interpret what the woman want and he can be wrong logically. Nevertheless, after crossing a certain line touching a body part for example, when a woman says no, it’s always better to stop, and say sorry. In those cases it’s up to women to forgive since in this situation in regards of the law they already have a case they can take to court, and the repetition of such behavior or the dominant position of the man will simply add to the case.
Sexual harassment is clearly a huge problem, but there will always be instances when it was unintended as such.
The key difference between flirting and sexual harassment is that sexual harassment is unwelcome. The contact was not invited or accepted.
Flashmag November 2017 www.flashmag.net