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his (her) partner that his friend's racial or tribal comments make him (her) uncomfortable, he (she) will probably have no idea. But if you tell him, (her) how you feel, you can both understand how to handle it if it happens again. You can decide that your boyfriend will go ahead and say something to his friend next time, or maybe you will avoid that particular friend.
The beauty of interracial relations, and of all relationships in general, is an opportunity to learn and grow with someone who could come from a different background and bring a different mutual perspective. The color-blind approach of not seeing the race of a partner, to understand how it affects the way he navigates in a relationship is not the right way to do it. Instead, one must always be prepared to approach racism or tribalism frankly. It is an opportunity for couples to become even more honest, more open and above all more aware.
Flashmag January 2020 www.flashmag.net